Overlarge Ego
by PotterheadFairy
Summary: Short James and Lily one shots, documenting the various occasions on which James attempts to ask Lily out. Please R&R! Hope you like it!
1. She broke my nobe!

**A/N: Another short Jily one shot, hope you like it! Many thanks to my fabulous beta 'silver fox forever'! Check her out, she's brilliant. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just to be clear.**

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"Hey, Evans," a messy haired boy called across the crowded common room to a pretty redhead seated next to the fire. "Fancy Hogsmeade this Saturday?"

"Sure, Potter, as long as it's not with you and your fat head," the girl replied easily, used to the routine, and not even looking up from her book to see who had spoken. She knew anyway. She was becoming too lazy to think of witty retorts after five years, so settled with just wounding his overlarge ego.

"Awh, come on, you know you want to. I can tell you love me really," he teased, desperately trying to annoy her so she would get angry at him. It worked, just like he knew it would.

Lily jumped out of her comfortable arm chair. "Love you? You think I secretly love you?" she snorted derisively. "Get off your high horse, Potter, I can promise you that I am harbouring no secret desires for you, other than the desire to take you into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and –"

"Take me in there and Myrtle won't be the only one moaning," James interjected cheekily.

Lily made no comment but her eyes flashed dangerously. "– drown you and your overlarge ego in a toilet. A sink would work, actually - I'm not fussy!" Her fists clenched tightly at her sides.

"Ooh, feisty, Evans! I like that!" James smirked. Sirius laughed, egging him on. "So, is that a yes for Hogsmeade?" His smirk was promptly ruined by a book being thrown, very hard, at his face.

"Ow! James clutched at his bleeding nose. "Ow! She broke by nobe!"

"Don't ask me out again, Potter, and your precious nose will be safe." Lily walked calmly over to him, pointing her wand at his bloody face.

"Dob't hurt be!" he whimpered.

"Shut up and move your hand so I can fix your nose. Quickly, or I might reconsider and let you bleed to death," Lily instructed. James reluctantly lowered his hands to his sides, and allowed Lily access to his disfigured nose.

She tapped her wand sharply towards it, "_Episky_!" James immediately felt all of the cartilage knit itself back together, leaving no trace of any injury aside from the blood trail down James' shirt. "_Scourgify_!" OK, no trace at all.

"Um, thanks?" James offered timidly. Lily nodded curtly, and went back to reading her book like nothing had happened.

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**A/N: Hope you liked! Please R&R! PF x**


	2. James tries poetry!

Lily laughed with Dorcas on the way up to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory.

"What? You're kidding me?" Lily laughed disbelievingly.

"I kid you not, he was just standing there, holding a pigeon over his–you know!" Dorcas giggled. "He was bright red!"

"I'm not surprised! What did you say?"

"Nothing really. I sort of went 'Oh, err, sorry, I'll leave you in peace...' and ran away," Dorcas snorted. "I haven't been back to Zonko's at night since..."

Lily giggled again, shoving open the door to the dormitory with her foot. She flung her book bag onto the floor, where it thunked, and several quills and an Arithmancy textbook fell out, and threw herself onto her bed.

"So, what do you want to do? It's nearly eight, so we've got about an hour until we have to be back. Kitchens?" Dorcas asked hopefully.

"Doe! You ate less than an hour ago!" Lily exclaimed.

"So? I fail to see your point."

Lily snorted. She rolled over from her back to her side, and felt something crinkle underneath her body that didn't sound like bedsheets. Lily felt behind her back, and pulled out a crumpled piece of parchment folded into three. On the front, her name was written in neat, but slanted and angular writing.

"Huh?" Lily asked confused.

"What? What is it?" Dorcas inquired curiously. She got off her own bed, and came to sit on Lily's. "Who sent that?"

"You know as well as I do," Lily said, thinking the same thing. "Only one way to find out." Lily slid her finger underneath the top fold of the paper and broke the seal, unfolding the note.

Her eyes scanned the page quickly, and she snorted when she had got to the end. She re-read it carefully just to check she hadn't misread it, but she hadn't.  
"What does it say?"

"_Roses are red_," Lily read aloud. "_Violets are blue_. _You're really pretty, I want to snog you. Your hair is red, but your eyes are green. A prettier maiden, there never has been. We aren't best of friends, and you yell at me lots. But at least when you're angry, you look really hot!_"

Dorcas doubled over laughing, "Well, at least it's original. Cheesy, and a little pathetic. But original!"

Lily glared at her friend. She stormed out of the dormitory grumpily, back down to the common room where she'd seen a certain foursome by the fire.  
"POTTER!" she screeched.

His head whipped around, and he smirked charmingly. "You called?" He winked. "Did you like my letter, Lily-flower?"

She slapped him upside the head, hard, dropped the screwed up parchment on his lap, and stormed back upstairs. James shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea," he defended himself to his chortling friends, smirking to himself.


End file.
